IH8PCs – Tom Fasulo

10. October, 2014

Some years before people even know what a “blog” was, Thomas R. Fasulo had one. “I Hate Computers” or IH8PCs for short. Tom was famous at his time for being paid “to develop¬†buggy software“.

It was a place full of wit, wisdom and incredibly funny jokes (especially in the “Non-Computer Humor” section ūüėČ All his blog posts ended with:

You should never believe anything you read or hear.
Especially if you read it here.

Another teaser: I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.

Alas, the original site is down. But thanks to The Internet Archive, there is a backup: IH8PCs


When Laziness Gets Expensive

9. May, 2011

According to heise online (German, video in English),¬†Professor Dr. Eugene Spafford¬†estimates the costs Sony‘s EPIC FAIL to secure their PSN servers to be 21 billion dollars.

Wow. 21 … fucking … BILLION … dollars. That’s¬†70’000’000 PS3s. 70 million PS3s. 36 million iPhone 4s. 700’000 cars at $30’000/each. They must be doing pretty well to be able to afford such a loss.

And it’s not that they didn’t see it coming. Sony knew for months that their servers were outdated and missing crucial security patches. Well, someone decided that it wasn’t worth to fix that. So: EPIC FAIL. Again. And again. Will they ever learn?

That feels like the same arrogance which led to the lawsuit against geohot and graf_chokolo. ¬†Which probably made someone on the Internet so angry that they decided to give Sony this¬†wedgy. Message to Sony: It’s not smart to be arrogant in the face of overwhelming odds.

You have, say, 1’000 people working to protect your assets. The world has a population of 7 billion (and you just lost 3 dollars to every and each of them) and the probability that one of them can kick you where it really hurts is about 1. At least.

Of course, the company is now using all its power to hunt down the little bastard. Sony, if you read this: Don’t be surprised if a 13-year old kid outwitted your whole security team.

Or rather the manager, who told the team not to fix those servers. But no, managers are never wrong. So the team must be punished. Fire them! All of them! Without supper! Serves them right! And don’t forget to sue the kid! Sue him to hell! Make sure he is not allowed to touch an electronic device ever again. EVER! It’s not your fault what happened! Try to create more DMCA-like laws! So you can sue more people! Get your engineering team to build a time traveling device so you can sue in advance! Force parents to divorce so they can’t breed anything threatening your revenue! Show the world who’s boss! Dictatorships never worked before but that should not stop you! It should rather encourage you! Grow by setting challenging goals!

See where the leads and why you can never win?

Making the world-wide security community hate you even more is your best bet! Trust me, I know at least as well as the guy who created this mess. And you trusted him, didn’t you?

LOL of the day

28. September, 2010

From programmers.stackexchange.com:

Load a picture of yourself in IE6. Print screen and frame it. Give it to your grandkids to remind them that, no matter how difficult things get, they’ve got it easy compared to what you had to deal with.

Missing Missy

25. July, 2010

I have two cats and I once lost one, so I know the pain when your poor animal is missing and you spend sleepless nights and have no idea what happened to it.

That said, the following mail exchange is one of those where you really shouldn’t laugh but it’s just so hilarious. You have been warned: Missing Missy.

Fun: Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

8. July, 2010

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: “Watson, look up and tell me what you see.”

Watson replies: “I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars.”

Holmes: “And what does that tell you?”

Watson: “Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies each with hundreds of billions of stars, which means trillions of planets. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life ‚ÄĒ and possibly intelligent life ‚ÄĒ may well fill the universe.

Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.

Holmes is bemused: “As usual, my Dear Watson, you are missing the obvious: Out tent was stolen.”

Sherlock Holmes und Dr. Watson gehen campen. Mitten in der Nacht, das Feuer ist schon herunter gebrannt, weckt Holmes seinen Begleiter und fragt: “Watson, blicken Sie nach oben und sagen Sie mir was sie sehen.”

Watson antwortet: “Ich sehe ein √ľberw√§ltigendes Panorama aus unglaublich vielen Sternen.”

Holmes: “Und was sagt Ihnen das?”

Watson: “Astronomisch gesehen deutet es darauf hin, dass es Milliarden andere Galaxien wie die unsere gibt, jede mit Hunderten von Milliarden Sternen, was bedeutet, dass es dort draussen Trillionen Planeten gibt. Wenn wir annehmen, dass die Verteilung von Chemikalien im gesamten Universum ungef√§hr gleich ist, dann spricht alles f√ľr einen Ort, an dem es Leben — m√∂glicherweise intelligentes Leben — im √úberfluss geben muss.

Theologisch gesehen erzählt es mir als gläubigen Menschen von der unermesslichen Weite des Alls, was ein weiterer Hinweis auf die Grösse von Gott ist und dass wir klein und unbedeutend sind.

Meteorologisch gesehen sagt mir die Schw√§rze der Nacht und die Klarheit der Sterne, dass wir eine niedrige Luftfeuchtigkeit und wenig Wind haben, woraus ich folgere, dass der morgige Tag wundersch√∂n werden wird.”

Holmes ist am√ľsiert: “Wie √ľblich, mein lieber Watson, √ľbersehen Sie das offensichtliche: Unser Zelt wurde gestohlen.”